August 30

Visible Sorrow

The best thing a parent can do is show their expectations of goodness, unconditional love and sorrow over the failures of their children.


Proverbs 17
21 To have a fool for a son brings grief; there is no joy for the father of a fool.

Here we have another sketch of sorrows. I see the faces of many whose sons or daughters have brought shame on themselves and grief to their families. In some cases the pain is so great for families that their social lives and general happiness are destroyed forever. Purviews of the families of multiple criminals of our times are cases in point. In a modern society a shamed family may move away from their communities and perhaps develop a low profile in a large city. In ancient times the shame went through generations and was not so easily escaped.

How many of us know that Adolph Hitler has family members who live in the United States? Few of us do. They have altered their names. How many of us are aware that once a name is smeared it dribbles down, if not socially at least in shame, to even extended members of families?

What a family member does is not necessarily a reflection of failed responsibility of the family. People can do their best and still find one of their numbers choose to let in the demons that oppress the human soul. However, as long as they have breath, parents can work hard on developing a sense of empathy in their children. This is done with instruction, demonstration and appeal.

When I was very young I began to associate with and seek to please the wrong crowd. When I got caught I noticed two things. Getting caught brought ridicule from the crowd I was trying to please. I also noticed that no one took responsibility for their part in assisting me in my small but shameful deed. I tried to cover it up but my mother found out and the thing I remember was that she did not deal with me as harshly as I expected. Instead, she cried. When I saw her tears I remember making a resolve to stand against the crowd that had encouraged me in my misdemeanor. As a result it took a few months to rebuild my associations but in time I found a new set of compatriots. I learned how to live without the approval of anything but my conscience and the desire never to bring sorrow to another whom I loved.

There is nothing that surpasses the power of unconditional love and seeing the disappointment in the face of a parent. The best thing a parent can do is show their expectations of goodness, unconditional love and sorrow over the failures of their children. In that, they identify in the sorrows of our loving Father in heaven for fallen humanity. Like Him, such parents must recognize that having done all each of us are responsible for the foolishness of our own nature and our children must walk the path of the discovery of the consequences that result from the willful wastefulness of obstinacy.

Proverbs 17
25 A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.